All I can hear is tick tock, tick tock, I’m waiting for time to pass, I’m waiting for time to heal me, but it seems as more time passes by the more painful it seems.
It has been 5 months now that a daily anxiety attack has happened, 5 months!! That’s a lot of time to go past, especially in an anxious mind, I’m starting to think people may have just been fooling me “time heals ya” I’m sorry but how much time?
Everyday is a battle, everyday you wake up hoping not to have an attack even though you know damn well enough you will, it’s just a matter of when, some days are worst than others where the whole day feels like one big anxiety attack, those are the days that bed seems like such a safer option.
When do you realise anxiety has really taken up space in your life and has decided to live with you unwelcomed? For me it’s the fact that I no longer want to meet new people, I feel safe around those who know me well, and I know them well, who know I have severe anxiety, why? Because I have a sense of security amongst them, I won’t feel judged or embarrassed if an attack comes on in their presence.
I don’t know what time is doing for me but Talking? Talking is refreshing, talking about what I am going through to people who understand is like a weight lifted off the shoulders, I wish more people would be open about their anxiety, it could help you like it helps me, and it could even help the next person.
I had stepped away from my blog for a couple of weeks because every day was seeming like it was worst than the previous, then I went back to my Facebook inbox and read all the messages I had received from not only anxiety sufferers but those suffering from depression who had read my blog and came forward to me, seeking assistance, seeking someone just to talk to and I realised that feeling embarrassed when I press the share blog link is nothing compared to feeling empowered by helping someone else.
“Time heals ya” maybe for some, maybe for me one day, but right now time is painful.
Please, if you need someone to talk to, my email, or Facebook is always open to you. xxx